Well, I moved out of my office last Friday. I was there alone, despite people saying they'd see me on Friday, except for the secretary. I was okay until she wanted to hug me, then I lost it. The more I hear about what is going on, the more I realize it is good that I am moving on, but that doesn't make it any easier. Tears are just a part of moving on, I suppose.
I did have a going away party on Tuesday and everybody mentioned how classy I was about things and that they aren't sure they would have done the same. Which is nice, but it really doesn't help. I kept the students at the forefront and did what was best for them. I didn't do anything that I didn't want to as far as meetings and awards ceremonies and graduation. I taught and kept up my advising and that is all. I worry about who will pick up my responsibilities and if they can even find someone. What is teach is an extremely lucrative thing to do and people with two year degrees and can be making six figures in five years. Most people earning that kind of money are not going to what to take the salary demotion. I liked it because I had all kinds of time off, which is what is most important to me, but perhaps it is time to start making six figures myself.
I have gone to two going away parties since. One for a guy who quit and another was for someone how was fired. It was amazing to hear people talking about the place we were leaving and how many positions WILL NOT be filled. I think that had I not been let go now, it would definitely happen in the near future. It is a shame, but I think the leadership is dragging the place down and there will be no recovery, just closure. I worry for all the people that remain and have worked there for so long.
It is times like this though, when I really realize how much I would like a companion and partner in life. Someone to come home to who will help me unload the car and commiserate with me. I talked to a friend the other day who is also single and she said the same thing about being lonely and wanting someone to share the day with when she got home. She is considering becoming a nun for the companionship...I think being lonely will be a better path for me at least I can still hope to find a man....there is NO WAY I would EVER be happy as a nun. Don't get me started! It might work for her, though, she already pretty much leads the life of a nun... ;-)
So, I throw myself into the summer things. I am reading and working on my novel and trying to get rid of things in case I do have to move for my job. I have boxes of yarn that need to be made into afghans. Guess what everybody is getting for Christmas?
Life goes on and the best I can do is live expectantly.
