Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Ups and Downs

So, when last we left our intrepid heroine....yeah, not so intrepid, matter of fact there have been some times of anti-intrepid.  Yesterday was really one of those anti-intrepid days...sigh.

So, I signed up for unemployment and apparently I have to wait a week, which I won't get unemployment payment for and then wait another three weeks before I see a check.  They are supposed to send me the paperwork in ten working days, but I need to log on the the website and enter in all the info about how I am out beating the bushes for jobs.  I am supposed to do five things a week and two of those must be applying for or contacting someone for a job..  I guess that is good incentive, but in my line of work, I have NO CLUE where I am going to find two jobs a week to apply for around here.  So, I guess I get to apply for jobs I have no chance of getting so I don't end up with a job I either don't want or can't do.  People who have been on unemployment have told that is what they have done.

Oh, and I got a letter telling me my health care was cancelled the end of July even though I was told I had until the end of August.  I e-mailed and they said the would fix it, but they responded to me on my work account which has now been cut off.  So, I have no way to know whether or not I even have insurance.  Not to mention, what do I do now?  Cobra?  Obamacare?  Is there some other option?  Ugh!  Ugh!  Ugh!

And in dating news, did you all know that there are a lot of guys out there that want to be spanked?  Yes, and even when I tell them I will not be doing that, they keep coming at me asking it in different ways as if if they only proposed it to me properly, I would be all in.  Are you kidding? 

So, that's the downs of things....

The ups of things? 

I did meet a nice guy on a regular on-line dating site.  He wants to move to where I am, and has history in the area of the country I live in.  The thing is, I may move if I get a job somewhere else.  He might be open to that, though or he seems to be. I guess we'll see.  He does seem like he might have a few dominant bones in his body too.

I started a wheat belly diet 10 day detox.  Basically, you don't eat grains for ten days.  OH MY GOSH!!!  The recipes are yummy: things like cream of broccoli soup and eggplant lasagna. I have lost two inches from around my waist.  I can hardly wait to see where I am in 10 days.  I am currently on day two. I don't know if I buy the guys premise that carbohydrates are bad for you and you should never eat them again, but I can't argue with the results so far.

I went to the drugstore to check my blood pressure too.  While I was working, it was way high and my heart rate hovered around 80.  Even unemployed, my blood pressure has dropped and my resting heart rate is around 62.  My friends told me that the job was killing me and I didn't even know it.  It seems as if they were right. Now I am within 6 points of what my blood pressure was when I was in college and that's become my goal.

Finally, after trying to log on to my work e-mail and not being able to, I started e-mailing people to let them know my private e-mail.  This morning I woke up to find an e-mail in my box, saying there was a contract with the Feds until the end of the year, which will give me the time I need to really find the job I want and who knows, maybe it will be around here and I won't have to move.

So, it has been ups and downs and maybe things will all work out...maybe....

Friday, June 17, 2016

Job is done

Well, I moved out of my office last Friday.  I was there alone, despite people saying they'd see me on Friday, except for the secretary.  I was okay until she wanted to hug me, then I lost it.  The more I hear about what is going on, the more I realize it is good that I am moving on, but that doesn't make it any easier.  Tears are just a part of moving on, I suppose.

I did have a going away party on Tuesday and everybody mentioned how classy I was about things and that they aren't sure they would have done the same.  Which is nice, but it really doesn't help.  I kept the students at the forefront and did what was best for them.  I didn't do anything that I didn't want to as far as meetings and awards ceremonies and graduation.  I taught and kept up my advising and that is all.  I worry about who will pick up my responsibilities and if they can even find someone.  What is teach is an extremely lucrative thing to do and people with two year degrees and can be making six figures in five years.  Most people earning that kind of money are not going to what to take the salary demotion.  I liked it because I had all kinds of time off, which is what is most important to me, but perhaps it is time to start making six figures myself.

I have gone to two going away parties since.  One for a guy who quit and another was for someone how was fired.  It was amazing to hear people talking about the place we were leaving and how many positions WILL NOT be filled.  I think that had I not been let go now, it would definitely happen in the near future.  It is a shame, but I think the leadership is dragging the place down and there will be no recovery, just closure.  I worry for all the people that remain and have worked there for so long.

It is times like this though, when I really realize how much I would like a companion and partner in life.  Someone to come home to who will help me unload the car and commiserate with me.  I talked to a friend the other day who is also single and she said the same thing about being lonely and wanting someone to share the day with when she got home.  She is considering becoming a nun for the companionship...I think being lonely will be a better path for me at least I can still hope to find a man....there is NO WAY I would EVER be happy as a nun.  Don't get me started!  It might work for her, though, she already pretty much leads the life of a nun... ;-)

So, I throw myself into the summer things.  I am reading and working on my novel and trying to get rid of things in case I do have to move for my job.  I have boxes of yarn that need to be made into afghans.  Guess what everybody is getting for Christmas?

Life goes on and the best I can do is live expectantly.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

The Battle is Done!

For the next 15 minutes, my flowerbeds are weed free!  I have won the battle...but surely not the war.  :-(

Monday, April 18, 2016

Badly done, Emma


So, do you have to have our slant on life to see this as rather sexy.?

Emma

Thanks to a post on a Uniquely Different Life, I thought of it. Her post was about sexy men putting you in your place.  You can see it if you follow the link below!

A Uniquely Different Life







Saturday, April 16, 2016

That's Life

A lot has been happening in life lately.  I am feeling pretty good emotionally despite the general downs of things lately.  For starters, they have cancelled my program (although they claim the program will continue without me), so in June I will be out of a job.  It is really okay, I think.  I am thinking, along with another person who got her pink slip, that this was just a nudge that we needed to go and see what is out there. 

The place is falling down around their ears anyway.  They are 2 million in debt (hence my cut); they walk away regularly from money that might be theirs if they would just apply for it (expect that they just cut the person who normally sits in on those meetings...see above).  There was a vote of no confidence in our leader and we are expecting she will get another one from another quarter soon. People are protecting their territories as best they can and waiting for it all to blow over or blow up.  I feel mostly for the guy I work with.  We head up the department together and with me gone, apparently management expects him to take it all over BY HIMSELF.  Needless to say, he is not thrilled with what that will mean.  He has two young children and doesn't want to do his job and mine too.  He doesn't want to have to work more than he already does.

So, supposedly, the program will continue without me.  I'm not sure how that is going to happen and when asked, management basically tells our direct boss to figure it out.  What they apparently haven't realized yet is that there aren't many people who are knowledgeable and willing to do what I do.  As I have begun job searching, I have found out that I can almost double my salary, so why anybody would leave and job to take a pay cut and do what I do?  I like all the time off, so the lower salary is worth it for me, but for most people...not so much.

I continue looking for someone to share my life.  There are a few possibilities, but I haven't found THE ONE yet.  Perhaps I will find a new job and it will move me to the place where my future someone live.  One can at least hope! 

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Keeping my chin up!

So, here's the latest. ..

I have been on about nine dates with a man.  He is very nice, but rather "boring".  I know he is trying and I keep hoping I will start to have feelings for him...but I'm just not there.

He is very busy and I only hear from him once a week and then just to ask me out.  We go out and have fun, but he is not much of a conversationalist and if I'm not talking he doesn't pick up the conversation thread...ugh!

I don't want to lead him on and have anybody get hurt.  Sometimes dating really is hard!

I have heard from a couple of other men who I might have more of a connection with. I am trying to keep my chin up.  Here's the run down...one is a naval commander of a air craft carrier, one is a real estate agent and one is an executive.  The commander and the executive are fairly close, but one of us would have to move and the real estate agent is a bit farther away.  He is thinking about moving.

So, here I sit thinking and thinking and thinking...did I mentioned dating is really hard?

Oh and then there is the one dd guy who can't seem to leave me alone, even though he spends a lot of time criticizing me.  Apparently to want to have my needs met is selfish.  Oh, and I'm Catholic, but he thinks he can talk me out of that, and I won't tell him which town I live in, so he wants my area code because that would be respectful.  I told him trust and respect are different things and I'm not going to do something that makes me feel unsafe.  Guess what?  He didn't like that.

I have told him when I talk to him he doesn't make me feel good and when he said he feels the same way, that was my cue to tell him that clearly we were not a good match and God must have other plans for us.  He deleted me from the chat feature...and then amazingly he was back the next day...go figure.  At some level, I am laughing at that guy...we are SO incredibly not meant for each other.

Anyway, I keep trying.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Contracts?

So, I just got an e-mail from one of the guys who seemed interested in me...here is a bit of it where he writes about the "principles" he is interested in...

It all just seems a bit much for me, especially the public rituals.

In other news, I just brought "Go Set A Watchman" home from the library.  I hope I don't reget it since I have had a crush on Atticus FOR-EV-ER.

Cygnet

Christian Domestic Discipline Relationship
Roles and Expectations

Principles
Communication
Rules and Discipline
Pledges and Rituals
ROLES and EXPECTATIONS
The Family Leader is known as the Christian Family Leader. He is in charge and makes all important decisions and anything he deems necessary for his female submissive partner and family. He has the authority to delegate. He has the expectation of obedience with a positive attitude. He has responsibility to care for the well-being and discipline of the female submissive partner and family.
The submissive female role obeys and belongs to the Family Leader. Her expectation is to be loved, cared for, protected, lead, taught, guided and disciplined.
PRINCIPLES
As a Family Leader I believe and abide by the following principles.
The Family Leader, his submissive partner and family owe allegiance to God, community, country, special friends and loved ones.
Submission is a precious gift given to the Family Leader.

The Bible teaches us about all Christian values and important lessons to guide us all.

Free will and what our mind can do and imagine belongs to each of us by the grace of God.

Submission should be given from free will.

The female submissive body and will are given to her Family Leader.

The Family Leader must love, care for, protect, provide, rule, command, consider and discipline the submissive partner and family.

The submissive partner must obey, respect and thank her Family Leader with a respectful and loving tone.

The submissive partner and family must cooperate with the Family Leader for the well-being of all concerned.

The submissive learns when to defer, when to confer and when to decide on her own as taught and disciplined by her Family Leader.
COMMUNICATION
The preferred method of communication by the Family Leader is to be clear and concise with an assertive or commanding tone. It is his choice to be comforting or stern as needed, not angry or abusive.
The submissive must address her Family Leader with respect and gratitude. The Family Leader decides the tone and will enforce it as needed. The submissive can be commanded to obey, respond in a very specific way and repeat to confirm back to her Family Leader until she gets it right.
The submissive will be allowed to express her concerns and relevant issues, emotions and requests for her Family Leader to agree, permit or execute. This open communication will be within a constructive context with clear limits.
The Family Leader is to practice active listening to best learn about the needs, wants, emotions, intentions and all relevant issues/concerns of the submissive and family. The goal is to be clear to make informed choices and decisions. The Family Leader is to be mature enough to recognize when he is wrong after careful, rational consideration. He can express regrets and apologize without losing respect. He should take responsibility for his decisions.
RULES
The Family Leader sets rules that he teaches, commands and enforces with his submissive partner and family. The rules reflect the values of the Family Leader, submissive, family, community and country.
The Family Leader teaches each specific rule to ensure agreement and clear obedience. If a rule is in dispute there will be a respectful way of deciding if the rule should be changed or cancelled. Ultimate authority belongs to the Family Leader within Christian values. The Family Leader uses proportional discipline to enforce rules. Discipline must be accepted by the submissive. When commanded the submissive must admit that she broke a rule, ask for her discipline and thank her Family Leader in a grateful tone after receiving it. The Family Leader decides if he comforts the submissive after discipline or a teaching session.
Principles are taught and reinforced by the Family Leader.
PLEDGES and RITUALS
The Family Leader pledges to her submissive partner to love, care for, protect, provide, rule, command, consider and discipline her and the family.
The submissive pledges to obey, respect and cooperate with her Family Leader. She states that her body and will are given to her Family Leader.
Rituals are performed to signify the beginning or end of each important stage of the relationship. The Family Leader rewards his submissive for her obedience, respect, cooperation and submission. The rituals can be private or a celebration with family and/or carefully selected special friends and loved ones.