Sunday, August 6, 2017

Update on dating

Well...it has been a long time since I have been here.  My life got really busy when I started working.   I am struggling a bit with whether or not to stay at the job.  The man who orchestrated me being hired is strongly encouraging me to apply for a fulltime job that has opened. I think I can do the job and I think I would like it.  The problem is that there is a woman here who has been working here for 14 years and is heir apparent to the position that has opened. 

The man who got me here and I had a long talk about all of this on Friday.  He is of the opinion that the current woman is not as capable as I am and that being in a job a long time does not make you heir apparent.  I told him that I am hesitant because I don't want to be in a hostile work environment and I am sure if I were to get the job, the woman who didn't would be angry.  He said he understood and proceeded to tell me the issues he has with her and some history and ended with hoping I would apply but that he understood if I didn't.  Ugh!  I'm really not sure what to do.  The thing is that the job for her is probably the only one she can get, although, she would still be employed, just not at the higher rate.  I can probably find a job anywhere since I have more skills than she does.

In other news, I am still dating.  There is one man I have seen three times.  After our first date, we met on line, he kissed me.  He also kissed me after the second date.  That is a bit of a rush for me and I really don't feel anything yet.  Then - date three - I took the risk and went to his house for a cookout.  He didn't even clean his house!  It was just sort of piled everywhere.  He said he hadn't cleaned it so that I could see how he was  - I guess that was sort of an apology?  Anyway, after dinner and a movie, we got back to the kissing again.  I finally indicated that it was time to go home.  We were kissing and I just didn't feel anything.  I'm not sure if I feel like this is a rush or if I am just not attracted to him.  Physically, he doesn't do much for me, but he is smart and funny which is a turn on for me. He was a gentleman and after some more kissing in the driveway I went home.  I have heard from him yet.  Ugh!

Then date number two of the weekend was with a man who is in the army.  We met at a coffee shop and talked about all kinds of things. He has 13 children.  The youngest of which is 1 year old.  I have been wanting to have children, but wow, having 13 in my life, I don't know.  This guy I actually laughed out loud with and at the end of the date, he asked if he could hug me.  I didn't feel rushed or like I was being pushed into anything.  So, I was more attracted to him.  He sent me a note on the dating site saying he was glad to meet me. 

I sure do wish I could find the one and just date him.  Ugh!

Oh, and I got a message on a dd dating site that said "Send pictures".  Now that's attractive, isn't it?  Ugh, isn't dating grand?  By the way, I hope all of you in a relationship will give a huge kiss to the man in your life.  You are lucky women!

Cygnet

Saturday, April 29, 2017

In the midst of sexist pigs, men kneeling?

So, I have a new job.  I guess you all mostly know that.  As I have spoken to the women who work here a lot of them speak of the sexist atmosphere in which they work.  The men that they say are sexist, I really haven't had a problem with, mostly probably because I don't interact with them too much. 

So, here's the curious part.  There is one man I work with quite a bit.  He is the go to guy for a lot of people.  Yesterday at a meeting, I looked over to see him kneeling next to a woman and discussing something with her...yes kneeling on both knees,  Then I looked over at the man who was facilitating the group and again when he was talking to a women, he went down on one knee so he was talking to her face to face. 

Just an observation that I'm not sure what to make of...hmmmmm.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

And so it continues

So, I haven't been around for a while.  I guess I have been sort of feeling sorry for myself and trying to get out of the funk I have been in about dating in general.  So, here's the latest and greatest.  I have an overuse injury of my shoulder.  I have been going to the physical therapist and I leave each time with some major bruises.  Ever heard of cupping?  Yeowch and it leaves bruises, not to mention the therapist's finger prints all over my arm.  I have also been going to a massage therapist...yeowch!  I guess I never really realized how connect all the muscles are, so the short story is that your biceps are attached to your traps and if your lats are too tight, your traps tend to compensate which affects your biceps...or something.  Suffice it to say that I never realized how painful having your arm pits and sides massaged can be.  On the up side, it seems to be working.  So I'll keep going.

The new job is going well, but I am hating the hour commute.  I am learning lots, so I think that I might be able to find something closer to my home at some point in the future.  The guy responsible for getting me the job, a really sweet man, was asking me the other day if I was looking.  I told him I was, but what I was doing was fine, although I was not fond of the commute.  So, I can walk away from that job if I need to without guilt.  Which is grand.

So, updates on my dating life....

Remember the guy that bought me chocolate?  Well, he texted me the next weekend about talking and promised to call.  Guess what!  He didn't! I haven't heard from him since.  Ditto the guy I met the next weekend who has major issued with his ex-wife.

I met a few more guys and one was even a veterinarian which would have melded very well with my love of all animals.  But he had been divorced 16 years ago and had gotten prostate cancer and was dumped by his girl friend of 4 years and then took up with a new girl friend who saw him through the cancer and they split up after 11 years.  We met at a Mexican restaurant where at the end of the meal we split the bill and then I got a long song and dance e-mail about how he didn't think we fit because of the prostate cancer.  I wrote him back a long e-mail about how if he thinks he isn't man enough because he has to use chemicals (his word) to have sex he needs to stop it!  I said a few more things which then he became interested, with all kinds of comments about how he needed to wait to get married and he wasn't sure he would ever want to again.  I am not rushing to the altar, but clearly he wants to have all the benefits of being married with out the commitment.  I told him he seemed to be pushing me away with both hands and moved on.  Oh, oh and when he is in town, he stays at his ex-girlfriend's house...yeah...definitely moving on!

I met a man who is an RN and works with children with Type I diabetes.  We seemed to hit it off and we even went hiking together.  We texted all this week, and he even invited me to go to a jazz festival last Thursday.  I already had plans, so then things went to radio silence.  He's been married twice so that concerns me a bit.  But he seemed nice.    So since he didn't seem to want to do anything this weekend, I went out with a nice man who is about 7 years younger than me, has two kids and has a fulltime job (believe me, this is a valuable thing, it is amazing the number of men who don't work- the vet I mentioned above doesn't and is trying to minimize his income so he qualifies for government assistance).  I never realized how important finding a man who has a job is to me, until recently.  We had a great time!

We talked for about two hours and he asked as we were leaving it I wanted to do it again.  The doubts kicked in a bit on the drive home because we met on a website, but after we met, he didn't ask for my phone number or e-mail address.  So, I tried to self talk myself into the "Que sera, sera" mindset.  Well, I just checked the website and he sent me a note thanking me and asking if we can do it again.  Things may, I repeat, may be looking up!  Please God, I hope so!

Saturday, October 15, 2016

The weekend!

Well, the weekend actually happened!  We met and had a really good time.  We picked a place that had lots to do, so we didn't end up just staring at each other wondering when it would be over.  We also pretty much talked for two days straight.

He was a total gentleman.  I was a bit worried because we had hotel rooms that were right next to each other that things might get awkward at the door, and they didn't.  Even when he knocked on the door in the morning, he stayed out in the hall.

No first kisses, other than on the cheek.  It was like a really long first date, but he made some right moves:  he bought me chocolate; he offered to take me to church; and he texted me on the way home.

We've texted, but haven't spoken since, so I guess we'll see where things lead.  If they don't lead anywhere, we still had a fun weekend.

In job news, I finally have an appointment to get my security clearance!  Yeah!  So, I expect to be working my November.  It has been along haul, but I can see the finish line.  Now, after all this falderall, I just hope I can do a good job!  Ugh!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Things may be looking up


So, the guy I mentioned in the last post and I have met.  He then dropped totally out of sight.  He recently texted and told me life wasn't working out quite as he had planned and he didn't want to lose touch with me, so he finally wrote and then called after three weeks.  I think he's depressed and I am trying to be upbeat for him, but I have always been of the mind that you chase your dreams and he seems to be in the paralysis of analysis part of decision making.

In other news, I got a contract job with the Feds.  It is for two years and is a sizeable increase in pay from my previous job.  I am filling in all the paperwork and I may start as soon as Monday.  I hope I like it!

I am going to meet a man I met on-line next weekend.  He and I will meet in the middle between where he lives and where I live.  He seems very nice and thoughtful.  Hopefully we'll have fun together.  He originally asked if we could meet and asked me to think about how we could do it and then we I suggested the meeting in the middle, he was all in, then he asked if I only wanted to do the one day or a weekend then joked about me being able to leave it things didn't go so well, but I committed to the weekend.  Wish me luck!

I also started a new workout regime.  It is sort of like a Fitness boot camp, but it is with all women and everybody is really supportive of each other.  I usually don't like group exercise, or exercise classes but in this case, things change often enough during a class, that I really don't find myself looking at my watch.  We are currently in a "detox week" so we got together and made smoothies and soup ahead.  I think I may have finally found an exercise regime I can stick to, and hey, I'm meeting a man for a weekend away, so I want to be as toned as possible.

So, things may actually be looking up!  Keep your fingers crossed!

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Ups and Downs

So, when last we left our intrepid heroine....yeah, not so intrepid, matter of fact there have been some times of anti-intrepid.  Yesterday was really one of those anti-intrepid days...sigh.

So, I signed up for unemployment and apparently I have to wait a week, which I won't get unemployment payment for and then wait another three weeks before I see a check.  They are supposed to send me the paperwork in ten working days, but I need to log on the the website and enter in all the info about how I am out beating the bushes for jobs.  I am supposed to do five things a week and two of those must be applying for or contacting someone for a job..  I guess that is good incentive, but in my line of work, I have NO CLUE where I am going to find two jobs a week to apply for around here.  So, I guess I get to apply for jobs I have no chance of getting so I don't end up with a job I either don't want or can't do.  People who have been on unemployment have told that is what they have done.

Oh, and I got a letter telling me my health care was cancelled the end of July even though I was told I had until the end of August.  I e-mailed and they said the would fix it, but they responded to me on my work account which has now been cut off.  So, I have no way to know whether or not I even have insurance.  Not to mention, what do I do now?  Cobra?  Obamacare?  Is there some other option?  Ugh!  Ugh!  Ugh!

And in dating news, did you all know that there are a lot of guys out there that want to be spanked?  Yes, and even when I tell them I will not be doing that, they keep coming at me asking it in different ways as if if they only proposed it to me properly, I would be all in.  Are you kidding? 

So, that's the downs of things....

The ups of things? 

I did meet a nice guy on a regular on-line dating site.  He wants to move to where I am, and has history in the area of the country I live in.  The thing is, I may move if I get a job somewhere else.  He might be open to that, though or he seems to be. I guess we'll see.  He does seem like he might have a few dominant bones in his body too.

I started a wheat belly diet 10 day detox.  Basically, you don't eat grains for ten days.  OH MY GOSH!!!  The recipes are yummy: things like cream of broccoli soup and eggplant lasagna. I have lost two inches from around my waist.  I can hardly wait to see where I am in 10 days.  I am currently on day two. I don't know if I buy the guys premise that carbohydrates are bad for you and you should never eat them again, but I can't argue with the results so far.

I went to the drugstore to check my blood pressure too.  While I was working, it was way high and my heart rate hovered around 80.  Even unemployed, my blood pressure has dropped and my resting heart rate is around 62.  My friends told me that the job was killing me and I didn't even know it.  It seems as if they were right. Now I am within 6 points of what my blood pressure was when I was in college and that's become my goal.

Finally, after trying to log on to my work e-mail and not being able to, I started e-mailing people to let them know my private e-mail.  This morning I woke up to find an e-mail in my box, saying there was a contract with the Feds until the end of the year, which will give me the time I need to really find the job I want and who knows, maybe it will be around here and I won't have to move.

So, it has been ups and downs and maybe things will all work out...maybe....

Friday, June 17, 2016

Job is done

Well, I moved out of my office last Friday.  I was there alone, despite people saying they'd see me on Friday, except for the secretary.  I was okay until she wanted to hug me, then I lost it.  The more I hear about what is going on, the more I realize it is good that I am moving on, but that doesn't make it any easier.  Tears are just a part of moving on, I suppose.

I did have a going away party on Tuesday and everybody mentioned how classy I was about things and that they aren't sure they would have done the same.  Which is nice, but it really doesn't help.  I kept the students at the forefront and did what was best for them.  I didn't do anything that I didn't want to as far as meetings and awards ceremonies and graduation.  I taught and kept up my advising and that is all.  I worry about who will pick up my responsibilities and if they can even find someone.  What is teach is an extremely lucrative thing to do and people with two year degrees and can be making six figures in five years.  Most people earning that kind of money are not going to what to take the salary demotion.  I liked it because I had all kinds of time off, which is what is most important to me, but perhaps it is time to start making six figures myself.

I have gone to two going away parties since.  One for a guy who quit and another was for someone how was fired.  It was amazing to hear people talking about the place we were leaving and how many positions WILL NOT be filled.  I think that had I not been let go now, it would definitely happen in the near future.  It is a shame, but I think the leadership is dragging the place down and there will be no recovery, just closure.  I worry for all the people that remain and have worked there for so long.

It is times like this though, when I really realize how much I would like a companion and partner in life.  Someone to come home to who will help me unload the car and commiserate with me.  I talked to a friend the other day who is also single and she said the same thing about being lonely and wanting someone to share the day with when she got home.  She is considering becoming a nun for the companionship...I think being lonely will be a better path for me at least I can still hope to find a man....there is NO WAY I would EVER be happy as a nun.  Don't get me started!  It might work for her, though, she already pretty much leads the life of a nun... ;-)

So, I throw myself into the summer things.  I am reading and working on my novel and trying to get rid of things in case I do have to move for my job.  I have boxes of yarn that need to be made into afghans.  Guess what everybody is getting for Christmas?

Life goes on and the best I can do is live expectantly.