Vulnerability

So, it is an odd thing.  I have always been the strong one, mostly because I have had to be.  I came home to an empty house starting when I was ten.  By the time anybody came home, they were too tired to deal with me, so I dealt with things myself.  For example, I can remember falling out of bed and hitting my head on the tile floor, but I was afraid to go and wake my mother to tell her.  I tried really hard to be self-sufficient and not need anybody, until lately. 

I am finding that I sort of like letting the vulnerable, feminine creature out of hiding.  Some of the guys I am dating seem to like it too...strange, because in my professional like I can't let that side of me out.  I grew up with brothers, so I always acted more like them than like a girl.  I am starting to wear sparklies and perfume and dresses, although with my job, jeans are the uniform of the day.  I am starting to feel very feminine.  I think I like it and that vulnerability shows itself at the oddest of times.   

So, tell me if this is weird or embarrassing or both:  I went to the dentist today, the dental hygienist is a guy, sort of a surfer guy, blonde hair, muscular and sort of cute (too young for me, but cute and yes when they asked who I wanted I requested him...giggle), so you know you're vulnerable, the hygienist has sharp things in your mouth and you have to trust that  you are going to leave the chair relatively unscathed.  So he is warning me when things may hurt and he is mopping up periodically, keeping me dry from the high powered water pick and I just relaxed and basked in the careful attention.  He made me trust him and I liked that kind of careful attention...I know...weird, huh?