Feeling lonely over here...it kind of comes and goes, but mostly just lonely.
There are times when it is about stupid things like having to clean the gutter by myself or deal with workmen. I complained to one about something another one did and he said if it were him he would have handled it differently and told the guy to "get his butt over there and do it". Yeah, I live alone and the "guy" knows where I live. I don't know that I want to tangle with that, especially after he got angry at me on the phone and hung up. I find I wish I had someone who could say tell the guy to honor his commitments and "get his butt over there and do it", but I don't.
Having to deal with the death of my cat by myself, less stupid, but still, times like those I wish I had someone to lean on.
The yard needs to be weeded and my bathroom is in mid-remodel and I am home alone on Spring Break and times like this I just weep and wish I had someone.
All I can do is wipe the tears away and keep going...what else is there to do? Hopefully this too will pass when I am back at work and not so alone...and lonely.
Oh Cygnet, I am sorry you are feeling so lonely. I'm sorry you are having problems with a contractor and am so sorry about the loss of your cat. That is not 'less stupid' at all. They become such a huge part of us and losing them is never easy.
ReplyDeleteSending lots of positive thoughts and many (((Hugs)))
Roz
Thanks Roz. I really appreciate it.
DeleteI'm sorry you feel lonely. I know I am thousands a miles away, and well not going to yell at your contractor, but I am around if you need me.
ReplyDeleteIt has been such a long winter. I mean HONESTLY, how much is one to take? Anyway things always seem to pile up when we don't feel happy. I don't have any advice other than exercise, and try to see some positives. I know you time will come.
love
willie
I appreciate you being willing to yell at my contractor. I worry that if I escalate too much, I'll just get a lousy job done, or one that takes forever. I think I just need to let it go. Thankfully, I haven't paid him anything, so maybe I will find an even better deal.
DeleteI am seriously beginning to doubt that my time will come, which makes me really sad.
Thanks for the support.
Hugs.....lonely is not the same as alone....you are not alone.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
Thanks, abby, but I do spend huge chunks of time really alone, which can be really lonely. Not much I can do about it I guess, but soldier on.
DeleteThanks for the support.
Aww Cygnet...I do understand...I get lonely also. Having to deal with everything on my own can be frustrating and just emphasize the lack of that someone special in my life. I am so sorry for the loss of your cat...that is not "less"...she/he was part of your family and you feel the loss.
ReplyDeleteTruly wish I was close to you...I would deal with your contractor. Oh and do not pay that sucker a penny more until the job is completed to your satisfaction. Don't know what state you're in or what kind of contract your signed but there are laws...you might want to check with your local better business bureau to see if there is anything they can do to help you.
As Abby said, lonely is not the same as alone...you are part of our family so you are definitely not alone.
Sending lots of positive energy your way.
Hugs and Blessings...
Cat
Thanks, Cat. I know you understand. Thankfully, we were just at the bid stage and he reneged on the bid. I haven't paid him anything, or I would be pursuing it. I considered going to the BBB but if he is already treating me this badly who knows how much he'll escalate if I report him. I will probably leave a comment on the BBB website though.
DeleteI appreciate the positive energy. I hope it works!
I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time right now and am particularly sorry for the loss of your cat. They are family and when they pass it hurts.
ReplyDeleteIt would be good to have someone to lean on, but until you do please take some pride and pleasure in your ability to organize a project and hire workmen to get it done.
Sending you more positive thoughts and hugs,
Meg
Thanks, Meg. I am capable and competent, but I guess sometimes I just wish I could share the burden.
DeleteI appreciate the positive thoughts and hugs.
Cygnet, I would come help you in a heartbeat if we were not so far away from each other. Loneliness has so many different layers. I remember the kind you are feeling, the frustration and angst. It hurts. I hope you woke up this morning feeling a bit better.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susie. Being around people will help, but the loneliness remains and not much to do but wait for it to pass. Thanks for the offer of help. I hope the kind of loneliness I am feeling will soon be just a memory, but I am beginning to think that I am destined to live with it the rest of my life. As I said it ebbs and flows so I'll just keep on going. Can't do much else, I suppose.
Delete