So, as you may or may not remember, I work with a bunch of men. They are cowboys and farmers and I have come to realize that there are not many topics that are off limits and that makes me laugh. When I share conversations I have had with co-workers with friends, they are a bit stunned that we discuss these sorts of things at work. Things like artificial insemination and chicken sex and how far dilated their wives are when they are in labor. The shock register from my recounting of discussions of "private things" is something I'm not sure I really understand. It isn't salacious, it isn't crude, it is all pretty matter of fact and discussed without embarrassment.
I have never really given it much thought, but is it possible to discuss pretty much anything in a public work space without embarrassment or am I just in a rarefied world things like copulation can be discussed in a respectful sense and nobody, man or woman, gets embarrassed?
The dirty jokes don't really circulate, everybody is pretty happily married, the guys bring their children to work with them when their wives are busy or they can't get a baby sitter, so they are pretty progressive. Do you think that's why I can talk about watching birds copulate and nobody blinks an eye? Is it because sex is a good thing and everybody realizes that? Or is it just the make up of that particular group of people?
I was sort of thinking about that when I watched "Boyhood" today. At one point in the movie, a divorced father has his two children with him at a bowling alley and he is talking about one of the daughter's friend's pregnancy. He has a pretty frank talk with them about avoiding pregnancy and either abstaining or using protection and the children are embarrassed and he is embarrassed, but he has the talk and I think it was one of my favorite parts of the movie, because it was discussed. I have a strong suspicions that the dads I work with will be having just as frank of discussions with their children, but I wonder if the embarrassment from the father's will be there...after all they don't seem to have issues talking about estrus and sperm with their co-workers...
Hey Cygnet...I think it has more to do with the management and hiring practices of your company...hiring a particular type of individual. My company has practiced what they call 'good fit' hiring for years...not only do you have to have the qualifications to do a job but you have to be a good fit for the company. When we switch positions within the company, we also have to be a 'good fit' for the team we are moving to. Sounds like you work with an excellent group of men. You are so lucky...many people don't fit well within their company.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...
Cat
Cat
Hi Cygnet, I think it's a combination of the company management and the nature of the group of individuals.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
They are rather a mature group despite their age...I don't think it's company management, as much as I like to lay it at their feet...they are frankly not the sharpest knives in the drawer, although they are smart enough to let our little department do their own hiring...so maybe it is company management :-)
DeleteI think that inherently humans don't have an issue discussing things, so when a group gets together and the veil comes off, others open up more freely. I have never had and issue discussing ANYTHING, (well except my feelings) and the only time I feel awkward are the times I am with people who send off that vibe. If your office sends off a vibe of acceptance then it is 'game on'.
ReplyDeleteI have had many friends open up ( okay maybe I have used a pry bar on them) because the vibe sent out is it is okay. Barney used to be very closed off. Since starting ttwd he is VERY open. More so than that, he will chase down our sons now to talk when he notices things are off. AND yes that includes the sex talks!
No matter, sounds like you work in a very ideal environment for you!
love
willie
I do work in an ideal environment for me! I think at some level, nothing is undiscussable. It just makes me smile sometimes to see what things are on the table for discussion...apparently, everything!
DeleteHi Cygnet, :) That sounds like a really healthy work environment to be a part of! When the people are happy, they yield a higher production, and tend to stay. Sounds like whoever is doing the hiring is aware of that. Lucky you! Those fellas sound like good men to be around. I am guessing that they were already like that and that they were picked out because of it- and their skills too. Enjoy! Many hugs,
ReplyDelete<3 Katie
HI Katie, I think the good men that came before I was hired, hired the good men who took their places and now are hiring good men and me, of course. It is a pretty good place to work, a bubble of sorts because the rest of the place is pretty cut throat. We are a united front to the rest of the place and tend to be able to work out any differences in a way that everybody can live with. I find that working with men often facilitates that and unfortunately, working with women sometimes doesn't. I had brothers so it is a good work environment for me. I tend to like having a lot of testosterone around...lololol.
DeleteNot sure why that happens but I think the maturity of those having the discussions makes a great difference.
ReplyDeleteYes, maturity and I suppose a bit of familiarity with those sorts of discussions too...I wonder if growing up on a farm or a ranch (as many of those men did) makes conversations like that more a natural part of life. At my other job, we watch birds copulate and even notate when it happens...normal part of the job. (giggle)
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