The beginning

So, I started this blog to keep track of my year of seeing if I can become a swan.  I've spent a large part of my life taking care of others.  I realize now that being the one giving is a place of power.  If I allow no one to do for me, I don't owe them anything.  The problem with that is that it keeps people at a distance.  This year I am going to lower the walls.  I hadn't really thought about that until I started reading blogs of people who are learning to lower their walls with their husbands and they feel safe doing it even though it's hard.

I don't want to be alone anymore and I am going to try to learn what I need to know to be a swan.  So, I am going to be conscious and aware of the ugly duckling vibes I give out.  I am going to seek out knowledgeable teachers and I am going to try to change inside and out. 

I have realized only lately that I have never really had anyone who took care of me and I want that.  Now if I can just find someone who wants it too.  I see that other people have it.  This will be a year of change for me, chronicled here.

cygnet