Self Preservation and learning to waltz

I have been considering why people pull back from love and affection and attention from their partners and I think to a large extent, it is about self preservation.  I think that need to preserve yourself happens when confidence in the other person is lost or damaged. For women in DD relationships it seems that they can willingly submit when there is a high level of trust and they seek that companionship and love from their partners. I think the men in the relationship can more effectively lead when they know that their woman are supportive of their role as leader and forgiving of their missteps.  I think men tend to go into self preservation mode when they feel they have made a mistake and begin to beat themselves up about it. 

So, I was thinking about building that trust.  I think a big part of that is knowing that your man wants to help you be in willing submission.  That mean that you are communicating and also I think that means that he is considering what he can do differently to help you embrace your role.  Ultimately it seems that when he is considering how his actions affect your actions that means he is paying attention which makes you trust him more. For the men, I think that if they know they have the support of their partners and know that they aren't expected to be perfect (even though they want to be), they are more willing to take chances and find the path that works best. 

Since I am just trying to find a relationship, I think that so much of this is about building a foundation and not skipping to the construction before we have a steady base of trust, communication, friendship and a genuine like of each other.  I think sometimes people are so focused on the goal that they tend to sacrifice the foundation.

I do often think of this as a dance.  If you are going to dance together, one must lead and one must follow.  The more confident the man is in leading, the easier it is for the woman to follow.  There are times in every dance where the woman yields and there are times in every dance where the man yields.  If you are good partners and are together in how you move the waltz is beautiful  You have to have a steady foundation of good communication and willing submission if you are ever going to waltz perfectly together