Saturday, November 22, 2014

Update on Handyman Suggestion

Well, I got an e-mail from the man the handyman suggested.  Just so you are all up to date, we met for coffee on September 2...today is November 22, so by my reckoning that is approximately 81 days since I last heard from him. 

He claims he had intended to e-mail or call, but he got swamped and he hasn't had time to socialize even with his close friends, let alone people he has just met...like me.  Then he said it was outside of his comfort zone and he couldn't handle any additional stress. Then he apologized for not calling. Then he told me he was sick and that he hoped my semester went well...

The End.

Now I have to figure out HOW or IF I should respond to this.  He did take the time to find my e-mail address, but he didn't really ask me out again or anything.  Perhaps he is looking for me to say "That's okay" or "Maybe we can get together".

My gut response...which I usually never go with is..."Sorry I stressed you out, that is the last thing I would want to do to a guy, so I guess it's a good thing you didn't call me for 81 days because I have moved on.  I am currently being courted by five men who actually call me and want to meet.  Huh, go figure, they must be interested."

Now that that's out of my system it's time to work on the Christian response.  :-)

5 comments:

  1. I wouldn't count on him at all. If you're going to respond say something like call me if you find the time and I'll see what I can do.

    I would tell your serviceman though that his friend is a dud.

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  2. Good gravy Cygnet...that man has more excuses than Carter has little green pills! If I were you, I would send him the following email:

    "Thank you so much for letting me know you are okay. I'm sorry you feel that a relationship with me is outside of your comfort zone...I sure would not want to contribute to any additional stress. Sending prayers that you feel better soon." Best Wishes, Cygnet

    Of course, my advice, along with a buck will get you a cheap cup of coffee. ;)

    Happy to hear you are dating other interested men!

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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  3. I'm going to opposite route here, because sometimes our guts do get it wrong. Are you emotionally invested , nope. So what is the 'harm' then in leaving the door open? Personally I think maybe all of this might be outside his comfort zone so finding your email address and reaching out to you MIGHT have been very difficult.

    Honestly I can be very shy in that regard and I think if you give him the polite brush off you may be missing out on something that could be great if he DOES find a comfort zone. People make mistakes, maybe they make excuses because of these mistakes after they are over, but it doesn't mean they aren't at least worth a second chance- in this case.

    After all you seemed to like and trust your handyman friend, so I doubt he'd set you up with a dud. As an aside, I turned Barney down on countless occasions before we dated. He waited patiently and wasn't a chaser-down, actively pursue kind of guy. Some of the keepers actually start out as a diamond in the rough Cygnet.

    love
    willie

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  4. Hmmmm.. I would write a simple email back thanking him for his communication, wish him a speeding recovery since he was feeling poorly and let him know you have no ill feelings it was nice to meet some one new. Don't close or open the door if you will, just respond without questions so the ball is in his court or not. But I wouldn't count on a thing back from him either.

    Now you have done the nice Christian response, not closed any doors and even wished him good health to boot! If he is just a guy in a tough spot right now and comes back around and does things better, well then you haven't closed that door in his face.

    Hugs,
    Irish Lucky

    P.S. - It would just seem that 80 plus days isn't a man with great organizational, prioritization or leadership skills that you will want in abundance as a future partner.

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