So, as I was commenting on another blog, I had a very interesting thought and decided I should come here to share it rather than taking over her blog (lol).
As has been clear in my blog, I am currently unattached and looking. I am also a Catholic. That is a very male dominated religion. Consider for a moment, the males are the leaders, but they are in service to the community. They have a lot of power, but wield that power, for the most part, justly and fairly. They are good listeners and they are problem solvers. They are caretakers and take that responsibility very seriously. They also have the power to help take away guilt in the confessional.
The confessional is an interesting analog to a domestic discipline lifestyle. From the blogs I have read, the format seems very familiar. You come and make yourself very vulnerable by admitting your faults to someone that you look to as a leader and to whom you have given power. There is an implicit agreement that you will accept whatever penance (I hesitate to say punishment, although it can appear that way, in essence penance is your way of showing that you want to mend the relationship with God and get close to him again) they decide to dole out. This happens after they listen to what you have to say, gently question you and end up with, "Is there anything else you want to say?"
You go in knowing a couple of other things too: that there is always forgiveness on the other side; that you are not going to be allowed to hide anything, that it will all be laid out: that you are going to feel better when it is over, free of guilt; that you will have a clean slate; and that you will be cared for through the whole process.
Then there is aftercare...the forgiveness part after the penance part (even the order is the same...grin). There is a prayer that is said when the priest lays his hands on you. I especially like the pardon and peace part....
God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your son, you have reconciled the world to yourself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the church, may God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
I like that I can safely make myself vulnerable and be a better person for it. Self examination is a good thing and I like that I am encouraged to do that pretty regularly!
That's a neat analogy cygnet. It is very similar in so many ways. I don't remember who told me this but I was under the assumption that most catholic churches didn't do confessional anymore...and maybe they were wrong about that. It's really neat that you have that place and that it is so effective for you in becoming who you want to be.
ReplyDeleteBTW...I have wood ducks, geese, purple finches, all the usual suspects and my very first robin of the year. So excited! This spring has come very early...at least until it snows again.
Yes, Susie, there is still confession every Saturday, but fewer people take advantage of it because self examination is a pretty difficult thing to do and it is easier to gloss over (dare I say distance yourself from?) your own faults and failings.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a good confessor (one who is going to firmly, but gently make you accept responsibility and see the consequences of your actions), there is no hiding and no minimizing your responsibility. It is a good thing, but it is also a terribly hard thing. It is an amazingly intimate thing (not in a sexual way), but intimate in that you have another human being's total attention and in that moment it is all about you becoming a better person.
Oh, I am so envious of you and your birds! I have a particular love of geese, but I have always wanted to see a wood duck nesting! Purple finches! Robins! I have begun to see the robins around here and of course the killdeer who are here all year around. I need to get out my feeders and see what I can attract.