Ugh, sometimes I think I should just take a vow of silence. I am really aware of the power of words and I try to be careful, but sometimes they just come out wrong. Why is it that when I am trying to be kind, supportive and caring, people sometimes take what I say as challenging or critical? What's hardest is that it's not all the time that this happens, just sometimes. I used to work with a bunch of engineers with next to no social skills. They were saying inappropriate things all the time. I was their go-to-girl who told them what they should have said differently. I think I may need a go-to-girl...because I don't like it when the things I am saying to be loving and supporting are perceived in just the opposite way...sigh. Is there anybody out there who might be able to help me with this? How do you temper your words?
One of my favorite comedians is Craig Ferguson. He is a hoot. He said the thing that helps him is he asks himself three questions: Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said right now? Which probably leads to him being silent a lot, which might be okay for a man, but for a woman people tell you their troubles and you're supposed to be comforting. I just wish I was a better judge about what to say before I said it.
Trying, trying, trying to make your blog stick on my reading list. It's stubborn (my list, not your blog)!
ReplyDeleteI try too and sometimes it comes out wrong...and sometimes others are in a bad place and hear it wrong. Thankfully, I do think most of those situations can be redeemed...with $10 and a trip to Starbucks for a new conversation. Sigh! You are trying and I bet you are WAY more sensitive to others than you think, by the very fact that you are paying attention to this.
Thanks for the comforting words, Susie. It sounds like you are sensitive to this too and good at being kind, caring and supportive, just look at what you did for me. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSorry about the list refusing to stick.